How to get away with armed robbery

After university, I got a job, but months later, 75 workers got laid off, unfortunately, I was part of the 75, and since then I haven’t found any job, so I had to survive someway somehow. I live at the poorest side of my neighbourhood, the only thing we could boast of was the estate housing in the hood, and only the rich could afford it. The rich had no regard for the poor, and that really pained me, so I decided to use my head and get what I can from them.

For this to work, I had to do a thorough investigation about the estate, find out blind spots, escape routes, security and alarm systems on the premises, and the type of people living there. I used one week to survey the whole estate and this was my findings, concerning blind spots, I didn’t see any CCTV cameras around so that wouldn’t be a problem, there were lots of escape routes out of the estate, so getting away would be easy, their security was very poor, they had 3 security personnel and the youngest looked like he was 50+ years, they were old men, and looking around I didn’t see any alarm system in place. I was really happy with my findings.

This was the job, but I can’t do it alone, so I asked a friend to assist me. He didn’t like the idea at first, but I managed to convince him to come with me. I told him the plan was simple, I had done all the necessary checks in the estate and it was 100%, sure banker! I gave him a rough idea of the operation, he liked it so much. But there was one problem, we needed a getaway driver, but none of us had a truck or a big bus. My friend told me he knew a guy he trusts, who has access to a truck we could use. Two is company, but three is a crowd, unfortunately, I had no option than to agree to a third person.

I picked Sunday for the operation because I knew everyone will be going to work on Monday, so most people will be home on Sunday night. On Sunday afternoon, my friends and I drove to a reasonable distance close to the estate, and I told them to get down, open the truck’s hood, put a warning triangle about 5 meters from the truck and pretend the car had broken down, so that no one will suspect us. After that, the next thing we had to do was stay in the car and wait.

Timing was everything, per my investigation, this is how the security men operate, there are two security men guarding the front gate, the entrance, the other security guy then patrols the estate with a club and a flashlight, after an hour he returns, they change shift, and rotate positions till daybreak. They were only armed with one big club and a flashlight. They were old men so that wasn’t a problem.

I chose to attack the estate at 11:00 pm, if we attack very late, say 1am or 3am, things might get ugly, if you knock on someone’s door at that time people will suspect and raise alarm. 11pm was ideal because people are now going to sleep, a few people will still be awake, and knocking at someone’s door at 11pm isn’t as bad as knocking on their door at 1am or 3am. And also I was very certain the old security men will be sleepy at that time too.

The countdown was on, it’ll be 11pm soon, so I told my guys to remove the warning triangle, close the hood of the truck, and remove the number plates on the truck, wear their hand gloves and head masks, pick up their machete and knives, and arm themselves with the toy guns. It was time to go, but before we attack, I suggested that we had a brief prayer for protection from God and to ensure a successful operation. We all said Amen!

From where we were, we could see two security men almost dozing off to sleep in the chair they sat on, so I asked the driver to speed to the entrance of the gate, and he did. We quickly came out from the truck, waved the machete in the air and told them if they say “wi” we’ll shoot them and cut them into pieces, they kept mute and pleaded with us not to hurt them, then I asked them where the other security guy was, they said he was inside the estate patrolling, so I told him to call him on phone to tell him they’re about to eat so he should rush to the gate right now before it gets finished. He did exactly as instructed, and the other security guy came rushing in like Usain Bolt, we quickly ambushed him and told him to keep quiet or die.

Phase one was completed, we removed their clothes and tied them up together with a very strong rope and locked them in a small wooden dog cage near by. The next phase was to dress up as the security guys, we wore their uniform so that no one would suspect us.

Phase three was to go from door to door and rob as many people as possible. This is what I did, we went to the first door and knocked very hard, someone from the inside asked, “who is it”, and I responded, “Security madam”, then she said, “what do you want”, peeping through her window, then I said, “Madam I dey patrol way I see blood for your house front, so I dey investigate, come out and see for yourself”, curiosity really kills the cat, soon as she opened the door, we all jumped inside, and threatened to kill her children and husband. We ceased all their phones and locked everyone in one room, stole laptops, mobile phones, flat screens, and jewelry.

We repeated this same trick in all the other houses we attacked. Since we were wearing the security uniform, no one suspected anything when they peeped through their window to find out who was at their front door. The operation was a success. In about 4 hours we had robbed 27 houses in the estate, our truck was even full, we had little space to pack the other stuffs we stole. I was really proud of myself, my plan sailed through as I expected, I was so happy I named the operation, “How to get away with armed robbery”, some part of me felt like I was born to steal, my talent was stealing.

The following day our robbery made headlines, everyone was just talking about it, due to this we had to go into hiding for a while, until the dust had settled. We went into hiding for 5 days, after the 6th day, it seemed nothing had happened, so we went about our normal lives.

How we got caught:

I went to see my girlfriend, I told her I’ve missed her, and that I’ve bought her something, then I gave her an Iphone, she was so excited she couldn’t hide her joy.

A week later, I was home sleeping when the police came to my apartment, I wanted to run, but they told me if I do, they’d be forced to shoot, so I should behave and come with them. I complied immediately. On our way to the police headquarters I asked one policeman how they found me, but he ignored me. Few hours on arriving, the press and media had stormed the premises, they were taking pictures of me like I was a celebrity, I later found out my girlfriend had also been arrested, I was confused.

One journalist asked how they caught the criminals, then the Chief Inspector said, “We traced these criminals using an app called ‘Find my iPhone’, which the original phone owner had set-up. We’ve been monitoring the movement of the handset for some days now, so we were able to get the direct location of the thief’s girlfriend. After we arrested her, she later confessed the phone was given to her by her boyfriend, one Mr. Cledre, his location was found which later led to his arrest.”

Of course, I revealed the whereabouts of the other 2 gang members to the police.

Indeed, crime does not pay.

A. CleDre

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