Have you ever seen two birds having sex before?

Have you ever seen two birds having sex before? Apparently that was the only ice breaker that could get some of these Twitter girls replying any of my DMs. I was astounded by the number of replies I got from this creative punch line I came up with. Most of the girls either “lol’ed” or “LMAO” and that marked the beginning of a long chat.

I’ve been in quarantine for about three weeks now and the boredom was slowly creeping up on me. I wanted to do something fun since I’ve been indoors this whole time and tweeting and chatting was the only thing that kept me going.

So I spotted this girl on twitter during the Sarkodie’s #BehindTheHitz instagram live show few weeks ago. She was so vested in it that I decided to DM her, I threw in my “Have you ever seen two birds having sex before?” line and surprisingly she replied. That sparked a series of fun conversation with her. She was easy to talk to, had an open mind, she was funny and held intelligent conversations.

So we’ve been chatting through the entire quarantine period, she told me all about herself. She was Makafui, 26, recently completed fashion school, aspiring to be a fashion designer and lived at Kasoa. I told her I was Cledre, 28, a clearing agent at the Tema harbor, lived alone, second son of my mother, loves watching anime and TV series and also a huge fan of online video games and lived at Madina. I remember having a friendly argument with her that evening about still playing video games and watching anime, she argued that I was too old to be playing video games and watching cartoons, of which I disagreed.

One night I did’t know what got into me, I started flirting with her and interesting enough she didn’t snub me, she flirted back. The chat really got sexual and arousing. I asked her what she was wearing, the colour of her bedsheet and panty. She said blue and I told her that was my favorite colour. Then I told her I wish she were here with me, I’ve been alone all these while and I miss kissing and fondling breasts. I texted her “I wish you were here with me, kissing and sucking on your tits right now”….she stopped replying when I sent her that. “hellooo, hi? Are you there? You bed?” but she didn’t reply for like 5 mins.

Moments later I got a phone call, it was Makafui. She wanted to find out if I was really serious about me wishing she was there with me. And I said yes. I told her the weather was really meant for two and I thought we’d make a nice couple under this weather. My flirting game was so strong I felt like Johnny Bravo.

She replied “hmm” and ended the call. I figured she had exhausted her airtime so I called her back but she never answered, I tried again several times but she didn’t pick up.

15mins later Makafui called my phone and told me she’s at my hood so I should come pick her up. I was dumbfounded, I asked her which hood and she replied ‘Madina…Madina new road’, and I was like, how did you know I was at Madina new road and she said I told her. At this point I needed a second to process what was happening. I never told this girl exactly where I lived, I only vaguely said Madina and now she claims she’s nearby so I should come and pick her up.

She described my hood to me, said she was standing at Rawlings circle near the Madina Polyclinic just opposite Mama Lit restaurant. I knew she wasn’t joking, she nailed the description. The time was 10:18pm, I quickly cleaned and organized my room as if my girlfriend told me she was coming over. When I saw that my room was now neat and a little organized like a bachelor’s room, I set out to look for Makafui.

Lo and behold, my eyes were not deceiving me, this girl was really here in the flesh. I hugged her, just to check if I wasn’t dreaming. First question I asked her was, ‘how did you get to Madina from Kasoa in just 15mins?’ she smiled and said, ‘I took an okada’ and I was like? It still doesn’t make any sense? Did you fly or Zipline just dropped you here? She being here was so confusing than DaBaby having a child with his baby mama who also happens to be his cousin. At the end I ignored it and took her to my place. She was wearing this long straight blue dress and Nike sneakers and behind her was this colourful school bag. I loved her whole demeanor and vibes, she looked hipped and cool.

We get home and she decides to get comfortable after talking for a while, then we get in bed to cozy up. I ended up having the best sex in 2020 since New Year’s January 1^st. This girl was amazing, she got moves and every 3mins she was switching up and never repeating the same position eeii Ghana’s very own Mia Khalifa.

Last night was fun so I slept in late and woke up late, it was Saturday and the time was 11am, when I got up my room was spotless clean, every inch had been swept and wiped. I almost couldn’t recognize my own room. When I got outside I saw Makafui washing my clothes, doing all my dirty laundry and she smiled up to me when I walked over to her, I told her she shouldn’t have but she insisted so I thanked her. 

Then she asked me if I wanted to have my breakfast right now, she said she made oats and toasted bread with scrambled eggs so if I want to eat she could serve me right now. I told her later when I’m done brushing my teeth, charle I was feeling like a king.

My landlord was on his storey building watching us and sipping his tea. So I walked upstairs to talk to him. I told her Makafui was my cousin and she popped up unannounced last night so when he sees a new face downstairs he shouldn’t be alarmed, she’s family. He gave me a mean look and said, corona virus is lurking around and I should be careful who I bring into the house, since the virus is contagious, but I assured him she will be leaving soon and I went away.

We spent the whole day together cuddling and watching movies. She made lunch and prepared dinner in the evening. It was fun having Makafui around, we played with ourselves all night and making each other cum. Dammn she was so wet I could take a bath in her, it was almost inhuman. If Akufo-Addo hadn’t given us free water for 3 months I wouldn’t have mind, ‘cos the way she was dripping wet I could use her water for a whole year.

It was Sunday. Not much happened, just hanging out with Makafui and eating her food. She started complaining that I watch too much anime, she called it cartoon so I should stop watching and come cuddle with her. There was something about the attitude she gave me that I didn’t like, she was acting like my mother and that bored me a little. Later in the day we heard the President will be addressing the nation so I was looking forward to it. The president said in his address that starting from the 20^th Monday, we can go back to work and the lockdown had been lifted. The way I was happy eh.

Monday morning at dawn I woke up and prepared for work but Makafui was still sleeping so before leaving I wrote down a lovely note saying thank you for everything she had done for me over the weekend so when she’s leaving she should hide my key inside a shoe outside my room, I also left next to the note 300 cedis.

When I got home from work, this girl was still there. I was so surprised, I thought she would have gone home or something but there she was. I said nothing and ate the dinner she prepared for me.

The following day I left for work and again came back to meet her still in my house, again surprised and kept wondering what was going on. My landlord had been giving me ‘eyes’ whenever he saw me, probably wondering why the girl was still around and honestly I didn’t know. I was getting uneasy around him ‘cos he had my fiancée’s number.

Wednesday, I got home from work and Makafui was still in my house and even wearing my clothes, she always happily welcomes me home with delightful smiles and tells me dinner is ready. I have no option than to eat. I wanted to ask her why she was still in my house and I wanted her to leave but I wanted a nicer way of asking. So I asked her if her family misses her or know where she’s at. She said her mother is everywhere and sees everything so she told her she’s at her boyfriend’s place, “der norr my heart cot”.

Thursdays are my off-days so no work for me. I went to bed angry last night because Makafui had over stayed her welcome and it was getting on my nerves. When I woke up, Makafui as usual had already prepared breakfast and asked me if I wanted to eat right now but I decided to boycott her food and kick her out using my body language.

At 12pm this girl was still here, I got pissed off and locked my door and hid the keys. I wanted to start a fight so that she would leave. I told her my fiancée was coming over right now, so I really need to go out and meet her and stop her from coming over to catch me cheating. But I’ve been looking for my door keys but can’t find it. I accused her of misplacing my keys. I raised my voice at her, yelling at her to search for my keys.

I went to my kitchen and pretended I was looking for my keys, and I could hear her crying in my bedroom. After 5mins of ransacking my kitchen cupboard I headed to the bedroom to yell at her more but when I went there she wasn’t there. I went to my living room and still no sign of her, but I could her someone crying. I went to my bedroom checked under the bed, inside the closet, checked every square inch of my bedroom and living room and even went back to my kitchen again but there was no sign of her. She couldn’t have gone out ‘cos the keys were in my pocket.

I began sweating ‘cos I didn’t know what was happening, I could still hear someone crying in my house but there’s nobody here and there’s no sign of Makafui. I called her out so many times but no one answered, all I could hear was someone crying.

I went back to my bedroom and I could see Makafui’s colourful schoolbag on my bed, I took it and opened it but there was nothing in it. It didn’t make sense ‘cos Makafui had been staying with me for almost a week now and she changed clothes everyday but right now her bag is empty and I couldn’t find her Nike sneakers, I was so scared I wanted to shit.

Then the crying stopped. Then someone started laughing inside my bedroom, the room was empty but I could hear a female voice laughing at me herrrrhhh.

Awukye! I grabbed my phone and charger, away koraaa! I rushed to the main door unlocked and run as far as my legs could carry me.

It’s been two weeks now since I went home, my landlord has been calling me saa but tweeaaa I’m not going back to that house again, I take the room dash the girl. Say I go bed inside that house again? Lie lie I no go go, las las I go bell my landlord make he pack my things put outside gimme I go come take loool.