Boys Boys No Be Family (Pidgin)

So dis friend showed me this app and told me to check it out. I did, and I loved it. I signed up, got a nice profile info and uploaded my coolest pic as my profile. But e no be easy starting fresh, trying to get the attention from these ladies wasn’t easy at all, you go send ‘hi’ waiting for a reply but dem no dey mind you sef, flexing nkoaa 😁

After some weeks, I learnt how to get the attention of the pretty ladies, the ugly ones weren’t hard to get 😆. It was a Saturday, na I dey bed top, trying to get a text back from ladies, after an hour, this pretty girl text me back, she was called Abby. We started a conversation, na I no dey wan rush so I relax, I took the chat slow, so say I no go scare her away. I didn’t ask too much personal questions, cos I know say ego creep am out so I decided to crack some silly nonfa jokes just to make her laugh.

We chat saaaaaa till midnight, way she flow me say she dey wan bed, I excused her and I also went to bed with smiles on my face. De next day she sent me a message saying, “hi, lets chat on whatsapp, here’s my number, 020 xxx xxxx”. I was happy eerhh 😄😄😄 my day has started great. We started to get on the personal level, asking deep and intimate questions with less regard to privacy. The chat was intense but fun 😋.

I realize say she be one of dem wild girls who pretend to be a lamb on the outside but on the inside she be Tasmanian devil 😈. Ebi dem chicks I dey feel waaa, wild, crazy, open minded, outspoken, confident, very intimate and definitely not the shy type, I mean this shordy was de complete package, with all these qualities I know say my single life was drawing to it’s end.

I made my move on her cos time no dey, and as expected she was not interested, tried again but she said no, she was stubborn. But I was determined, I know say she likes me, and I knew she was playing hard to get but onaapo 😕! I was ready to follow her to de depths of Hell if that place even existed. She sent me her pic bi, herrrrhhh, after looking at it, “me b))” Jack Wilshere de whole day 😹😹😹

The pic eeh, she dey tap couch inside, na she dey wear some white crop top way she hip in brezz up eeh, as if dey were being pushed out. You could see her belly button, round, flat and priceless like the 20 pesewas coin. She was wearing a pink bum short, her thighs looked soft as silk that glittered to the dusking sky. She was light skinned so you can imagine. Couple of weeks later I proposed to her, asked her to be my girlfriend, and she agreed 😍😍😘.

I went over to one of my friend’s place, en name bi Armani, I usually hang out with him when I’m bored. I stayed till the evening, more friends came around. I knew it was the right time to share this exciting news. I told dem I had a date the next day, I told dem I was meeting this fine chick 🐣, they laughed at me and said I was the king of gnashing so e no be possible.

To prove I wasn’t lying, I gave them my phone, showed the chat I had with Abby. Instantly they knew I wasn’t playing around, den I showed dem the pic Abby sent me, come and see, these boys dey give me fans saaaa, happiness be what

Dem biz me where I meet de girl, I flow dem say ebi Meet24, nor dey all took their phones out to download the app 😹😹😹, I laugh saaa. Later that night, Armani text me, he talk me say the place be dull na de girls no wan reply en messages, I told him, “paddy make you relax, get a nice profile pic de girls go reply your texts.”

I was done and ready to go on this date. She was supposed to call me and confirm our date, but I wedge saaa she didn’t call me, I thought de girl stood me up, like I wan cry sef. I was all dressed up ready to go but she wasn’t picking my calls and she wasn’t calling me back.  I was feeling lazy to take off my clothes so I made up mind say I go go hang around with Armani. He was at home watching tv so I joined him.

About 2 hours later, Abby called me, way she dey beg, she talk say en Poppi send am on some plenty errands bi that be why she wasn’t able to pick my calls or return them. But she flow me say she’s in a troski going to Hatso, so if I like ah, make I come wedge am for atomic junction, she dey go deliver some items bi give her aunty, she dey wan meet plus me as consolation. I agreed.

I left in a rush, by the time I reach atomic junction I remember say I lef my phone for Armani in room, but na ebi too late for me to go for it. A couple of minutes later, I saw Abby getting down from that troski, she quickly recognized me, she say she try call my phone wey I no pick, but I flow am say I lef am for house, we talk for some few minutes bi, she spy en time way she flow me say en time catch so she wan lef, she gave me a hug and lef. I went back to Armani en house, went for my phone and went home. I told Armani I went to see Abby.

It was all good that night, we talk for phone top saaaaaaa. The ❤ was deep. It was deep but lasted for only two weeks. This girl changed completely, she wasn’t the Abby I met online, more times she dey do en body some style bi, giving me lots of attitude and crap. I couldn’t deal with that drama so I decided to ignore her for some time. I went to Armani’s crib to chill out, we took some pictures and selfies, most of them were dope.

Later that night I used one of the selfies I took with Armani as my whatsapp DP. That evening Abby texted me asking who the guy with me in my DP was, I told her that guy be my cousin, then she replied saying, “Oh My God!”. I conf, so I biz am, “ah what’s wrong?”, way she answer say, “I’m soo sorry, I didn’t know, pls forgive me”, what de chick dey talk, me I no dey bab, so I flow am say make she talk in mind cos me I dey give am.

I pressure am saa but she no wan talk, until I told her not to text or call me ever again. After a long pause she said, “I met with your cousin, Armani 3 days ago at Dome, he asked me to meet him, he said he lived close by, we met and hang around for some hours, one thing led to another and we did it, but we did it once I swear”.

I couldn’t believe what I was reading, I figa ebi dream bi, the tin shock me.

The chick I take show boys say my new catch be that, about a week later Armani go meet the girl for some place and chop the girl freeeee 😲😲.

What bore me be say, Armani chop the girl fini, he flow the chick say make she no talk me 😕. I make Abby send me all the conversations that transpired between dem from day one to me. The girl mess up , she allow Armani chop am free. I ended the relationship fast fast, I dated the girl for 2 weeks p3 ooh way my tight paddy take 3 days p3 chop am herrrhhh, boys y3 fvckin 😹😹😹.

Even tho Armani chop my woman, we still remained friends, but he had no idea that I knew he chop the girl, I never confronted him about it. I didn’t blame him for being a dog, I blamed Abby for being a cheap girl sleeping around with strangers even tho she was involved with someone else.

Later on wey I find out say, the day I go meet Abby for atomic junction wey I forget to take my phone, that be the time Armani take my phone den bost Abby en digits. My phone had no password or pattern, so Armani was able to browse my phone and took whatever he wanted. I never locked my phone because I had nothing to hide, I just felt it was unnecessary to lock my phone cos i trusted those who asked to use my phone. This misconception cost me dearly.

If password no dey your phone, abeg, put one for top now now. Trust no one with your phone, esp those close to you. About 3 months later, Abby text me say she missed me, way I replied am saying, “you miss your morda mmom”, the girl say I diss am, abeg what I talk be diss? 😆😆😆